The Gay Ken Doll

Ken is a pretty gay barbie doll but the moment that he was at his gayest was way back in the 90s.

Ken dolls never sold as well as his girlfriend Barbie, in a effort to raise sales Mattel did a rigious survey of 5 year old girls asking if Ken should still be with Barbie or should she dump his ass for a different boy toy, the girls said that all Ken needed to do was look like he belonged on her arm or look cooler as they described. At this part I should point out these children were shown music videos that were currently airing on MTV to inspire cool imagery and what cool to 5 year olds as author Matt Haig detailed in his book “Brand Failures: The Truth About the 100 Biggest Branding Mistakes of All Time.” Was mesh shirts, the blood cutting pants, earrings, a leather vest and a totally awesome necklace. But Mattel needed to get there hands dirty see these fashion trends up close to get a better idea of what they were going to be working with, so they did what any straight white men who had no internet in 1992.

They prowled raves looking at what mens fashion was in, these raves were hosted and attended by gay men. These reachers being as straight as a rod who were extremely sheltered had no idea what these fashion trends meant or the lingo of the gay community even though they right in the thick of it mingling with them on the dance floor. Giving the toy designers their research they redesigned Ken giving him purple clothes to a earring necklace, which if you have two eyes you would realize this is a cock ring and yes there is one sewn onto the shirt indicating his position in the bedroom and if your wondering this ken is going to take it lying down.


That’s the problem with 5 year old’s, they aren’t generally knowledgeable about the flouting of traditional masculinity, the subversion of gender norms or hidden coded language of the gay community along with the sheer shelteredness of there toy designers who had been designing for children for so long couldn’t see the absolute gayness they were creating or maybe they were disgruntled by Mattel and wanted to fuck them in the ass, so to speak.

Soon this little gay doll soon became a best seller as sassy gay man were coming in droves to buy what was there sterotype, but after back lash from parents mostly because Ken was wearing a sex toy around his neck and on his Jacket. After 6 weeks he was put into a closet where he has remained to this day never showing his face again except on ebay but don’t worry this story has a happy ending because now whenever someone works at mantel they have to look at what was the highest selling Barbie doll was, Magic Earring Ken Doll and isn’t there just something so sweet about that.

One Reply to “The Gay Ken Doll”

  1. Mattel. Trixie Mattel. Mind blown. Nice article, makes your realise how isolated the gay community was in those days though, that people had no idea….

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