Why Just Why: Friday The 13th 2017

Friday the 13th began in 1980’s and was a smash at the box office bringing in a shit tone of money, prompting Paramount to make sequels after sequels and after a while they began to become repetitive.

For those of you who weren’t born in the 1980s and are not a slash fan, Friday the 13th is a slasher film where Jason Voorhes goes around killing teenagers, cops and generally anyone who trespass on his land .

This new film is said to be released 13th of January 2017 keeping in with the Friday the 13th release dates (though ironically the first one was not release on Friday the 13th). The plot of this movie promises to answer the decades-old question of why Jason is immortal, with rumblings of them using the found footage technique and meant to re-boot the series or at least try to.  We all remember the Friday the 13th reboot in 2009.

There is something to be said about using footage in your film now from when it was used in 1999 in the infamous Blair Witch Project and the movie Cannibal Holocaust. That it’s dead. The found footage technique was dead as soon as the Blair Witch Project came out and the reason it only worked then was because it went out of it’s way to make us believe that it was actually real from the shoddy camera work to the missing persons report of the actors that were posted on the internet, they put the time and effort into making this illusion believable and the fans of Friday the 13th know it’s not real, they know Jason isn’t real, they know camp crystal lake isn’t real. If your trying to build some semblance of authenticity within the minds of the watchers of this film it won’t work, Friday the 13th has had at least 35 years to grow and evolve but it is just stagnating. This entire franchise was never meant to make us feel as though it was real, you are just making the scares even more fake when you do this.

Illusions is what build found footage up, look at Orsen Wells he managed to fool an entire nation of people because the lack of social media, making everyone looses there minds for a day. Blair Witch worked because they used the limited access of social media of the time to it’s advantage and basically cat fished us. These two concepts both had a wave of  illusion over them for a time making them believable till the magician waved back his hand and revealed the secret. Found footage is now as believable as your grandfather’s toupee and about as dead.

Now the plot about Jason’s immortality does that need a whole movie to be explained, using an entire movie to talk about why he cannot stay dead seems like a waste. Though I will admit going through an origin story is entertaining to watch maybe we will see Jason practicing cutting people’s skulls open by using watermelons, but we already have some semblance of reason why he cannot be killed, in Freddy vs Jason where the police officer said ‘he awoke whenever someone trespassed on the lake and took revenge on those who wandered on to his lands’.

And unless the script writer can engage us after so many films of this rehashed movie along with such a simple camera technique, I don’t think Andrew Guzikowski is up to the task of rebooting the series.

Andrew Guzikowski has written Prisoners, Contraband and few other works that are still in development, so all I can say is he is budding into a wonderful script writer but he has yet to make a memorable mark with his works. Within the movie realm we must remember the script writer has very little power, the director has the control and should I remind you of all the shitty things directors have to do to make the story better.

Breck Eisner, he has directed Sahra, The crazies and The Last Witch hunter, not great movies but not notably terrible, they have slipped through the cracks and will we be forgotten in 20 years or so. When I read about him being the director I wondered why Platinum Dunes and Paramount would put someone with such limited experience on a franchise such as this one.

Platinum Dunes and Paramount who are colluding on this project, obviously wants new blood or at least no one of extravagant name for the director and script writer so no one would dig any deeper into this production, because when I saw the producers on this my blood went cold and then I’m pretty sure my brain exploded.

Michael Bay, Andrew Form and Brad Fuller are the producers on this film.For those who have been living under a rock. These three gus have had there hand in the Purge, Transformers and that’s all I can write before I start vomiting.

I can just imagine what this movies going to look like, no I am not going to waste my brain power on this. I can only hope that the new blood cancels out the old blood but I have a feeling in my bones that this film is nothing more than a quick cash grab as generally with Found Footage movies they generate profits that are quite obscene with little to no budget.

Paranormal Activity having a budget of $15,00 and grossing 193 million

Apollo 18 with a budget: $5million grossed $25,562,924 million. That is not a joke it actually grossed $25,562,924 million.

I know I said found footage is dead and I stand by that statement so I have to ask myself who are seeing these movies. Then I realised why were seeing these films and I can only say we are so starved for good horror that we are willingly watch shit that pollutes us from the inside, this is just so disappointing to me we want good horror and all where getting is crap shoved in our mouths into our gullets burning us from the inside.

I have personally seen every Friday the 13th movie and I have to say Hollywood let it die. You have beat the horse to death it’s corpse is now rotting with maggots festering on it’s disgusting corpse, it’s time to bury this horse because it’s causing people to hallucinate with the smell it is generating, making everyone believe they can still make money off all of this thing, all I can say is that it is time to make a new monster so we can let poor Jason rest in piece, wasn’t it enough when you put Jason in out of space haven’t you bled this franchise enough already, please Jason needs to sleep!

This movie has yet to release a trailer and I can already tell this isn’t going to be good, from the way it’s supposedly shot to the story line.

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